These boots are made for walkin’

Busy, busy, busy

Father, it’s been almost a month since my last blog… I’ve missed it! But the trouble is, I’m slightly concerned that this will be about the frequency of my posts now I a) have a child that WALKS (or actually, it’s usually an almost-run), and b) am back in work. I do however only have 1 week left in work before we break up for summer, so it’s been quite a nice and fairly easy few weeks back actually. Plenty of blog-time over the summer hols! 

We not only have a walker, but WE HAVE A 1 YEAR OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Jude turned 1 on Tuesday last week. I worked for half a day, and although Steve was off, we decided Jude should still go to the childminder’s for his usual half day. He’s taken to doing a huge, melodramatic wail as I hand him over every time I drop him off. I initially found it heartbreaking, but I’ve come to realise it’s literally put on for me and he’s not really upset at all. THE SECOND I leave and he’s given dry breakfast cereal to eat with his fingers, he’s completely fine! Ceri – our childminder – sends me a photo as soon as he’s calmed down and 99% of the time it’s before I’ve even pulled away in the car! Little monkey. Little actor in the making I think! 

It’s nice to feel wanted though. My first week back in work was heartbreaking. It was the week Jude chose to be a Daddy’s Boy. The week I leave him for 3.5 days, Jude decides he doesn’t want me, he wants Daddy. All the time. Lovely for Steve, heartbreaking for me. But it’s safe to say we’re now both getting a good, fair number of cuddles these days. Im so pleased we have a little one who loves to cuddle. He seems so grown up now, he’ll happily just sit with us and cuddle like a little boy, not a baby!

         
Gnawing and grinding


We’ve been lucky enough to have a long break from teething over the last few months and it’s meant that aside from the usual one short-lived meltdown a day, we have generally had a happy baby who SLEEPS THROUGH FROM 8PM-6AM A FEW TIMES A WEEK. We have spent the last few months appreciating this fact, I can assure you. But now that dream world is over and Jude is teething again. Only this time it’s waaaay worse. It’s the big teeth. And the 8 teeth he’s had for ages are really nice and settled into their spaces now, only to be moved and squished by the new teeth that are coming through. Oh and the poo. THE POO. I had to pick him up from the childminder’s early last week as he had had 3 terrible nappies that had made him cry. I picked him up as I didn’t want him to make any of the other children ill too. But it turns out it wasn’t illness, it was just teething! And his poor, poor bottom… He’s never really had nappy rash, but this is a WHOLE NEW LEVEL of nappy rash. It’s like he’s had acid poured into his nappy. It’s red and raised and one day last week it even bled! It must be the most uncomfortable thing in the world… He whimpers when we put him in the bath in the evening… 

Poor boy. It’s an awful thing that these tiny humans have to endure teeth cutting holes in their gums and nappy rash that would make me not want to sit down or wear underwear EVER. Speaking of not wearing underwear, we have intensified the ‘nappy off’ time again in an attempt to try and fix his poor bottom. It seems to be working so far…..

Jude has also started grinding his teeth! Eugh! Apparently it’s quite normal when they’re teething and it even has a name – Bruxism (thank you Google). But it sounds terrible and it makes me feel like he’s going to damage his new little teeth. But apparently he’s not and eventually he’ll stop doing it. 

     

Our house, is a very, very, very fine house

Another reason for not blogging in a while is that we finally completed on our house and moved in! It’s the first house we have owned and despite the fact that we’re still not quite unpacked, it feels great that it’s ours… It was sad to leave the first home that Jude lived in, but it’s safe to say we’ve got plenty (literally thousands) of photographs to remind us of his time there. 

With a new house, comes a new room. And Jude now has a great sized room that he loves to play in and we finally have somewhere to out some of his millions of toys! In the space of a week, our living room has turned from a nice space with a few token baby toys, to a flippin’ car park! 1 year old boys like fire engines and trucks apparently! And he does, he LOVES them! 

We held back on upgrading Jude’s toys as his birthday was coming up. Really, he could have done with some more age-appropriate toys a few months ago. But it’s a good job we did hold back as he now has LOADS of lovely, challenging, suitable-for-a-1-year-old toys and puzzles. They’ll last him a while, that’s for sure! He’s well-versed in getting on and off his sit-on fire engine and pushing it around the room. And he loves the fact that he can hide things under the seat. All of these skills have definitely been developed during his time at the childminder’s, watching the older children and learning, learning, learning.  He’s also finally taken a liking to a soft toy! Leo the Lion. Typically, Leo isn’t even a toy that has been bought for Jude; it’s one of mine! Maybe that’s why he likes it? Could be because it smells of me… Although it was bought for me as an adult, so I haven’t exactly been cuddling it! Anyway, Leo is the one and that’s who gets cuddles and kisses on a regular basis. He’s also lovely and squishy, so Jude lies on him and uses him as a pillow regularly. Trouble is, he’s rather large, and I can see Leo not being very portable……..


Les Vacances

We’re going on holiday in 3 days time. We are going to France and I CANT WAIT. It’s going to be our first family holiday abroad, in fact, it’s pretty much our first family holiday full stop! Sliiiiiiighhtly concerned about the flight as I’m not a good flyer, but I’m hoping that motherhood will bring out my rational, sensible side. I’m hoping I’ll be more concerned about Jude not screaming down the ear of the person in front of us, than the fact that the plane might drop out of the air/get hijacked/blow up/run out of fuel/ lose a wing etc. 

We’re going with my mum and dad, so it’ll be lovely to have others to take over ‘entertaining Jude’ duties from time to time. It’ll be like a real break. My brother and his gorgeous girlfriend Lucy are joining us a few days in too, so it will just be a lovely relax, with wine, good French food, sunshine (hopefully) and lots and lots of R&R. 

       

Speaking of wine……

We’re still breastfeeding. 2-3 times a day. But. Jude can go without 2 of those 3 feeds when he has to. It’s just being in my company makes him want milk. So we’re going to use holiday and the change in routine, to start us on the road to reducing and stopping. It’s time now. We’ve had a good run, but he doesn’t need my milk anymore and it doesn’t seem like he’s going to choose to stop by himself any time soon. So I’m going to help him along a little. 

In France I fully intend to have a glass or three of wine, probably every day. And for that reason I don’t want to have to feed Jude in the evening. Plus, I’m still feeding him to sleep every night. So we’re going to miss his evening feed and get him off to sleep using the buggy as we go out for dinner in the evenings. The plan is, that he will have his dinner before we go out and he will fall asleep en route to the restaurant. As I said, that’s the plan. I’ll update you as to whether that actually works!!

       

Signing off now. It’s been fun blogging again! I shall try and do so more frequently over my Summer break. Au revoir mes amies!! X


Is it worth it, let me work it

I go back to work THIS MONTH. And that means that my little boy will be going off and having new adventures without me! …About 8 months ago, my best friend’s little girl started going to a childminder as she returned to work after over a year off. I remember her telling me soon after this, that Edi was loving it, but it was really weird for Lucy as her daughter had this whole other life, that she did during the days with the childminder, that Lucy wasn’t involved in! 

And now it’s my turn. Jude will be going to a childminder and I’m feeling nervous: for me and for him. I must mention that the childminder is a friend of ours and someone that Steve has known for years, so we have 100% trust in her. I’m nervous that Jude will be sad. I’m nervous that he’ll be sad and miss me. I’m nervous that I’ll be sad and miss him. In fact, I’m sad that I’ll no longer be able to spend lazy mornings with him and have fun and active afternoons. I’m sad that I’ll no longer be able to have fun and active mornings and lazy afternoons. I’m nervous that I’ll be bad at my job. After all, I haven’t done it for a year! But I’m also excited. I think. I’m excited that I will be starting another chapter in my life; that of a working mum. I’m looking forward to exercising my brain again in something other than nap timings and baby sign language. (Having said that, baby sign language is pretty much fully engrained into my life now). I’m looking forward to how much I’ll treasure the time that we do have together, and how much he’ll develop and grow through play and interaction with other children. 

    
When I go back, Jude will be 4 weeks off his 1st birthday. That’s a long time – 11 whole months – to get used to being with his mummy all day every day. I’m finding that he’s just about getting to the point where he full on cries if he can’t see me. This I feel, is going to cause some trouble when I start leaving him in order to go to work. He will be with Steve for 2 days a week and the childminder for 1.5 days. Staying with his dad is fine – he does that a lot, but I’m worried that leaving him could be quite traumatic to begin with.. Ah well, it has to happen at some point I guess! We’re doing a taster session this week; just leaving him for an hour and popping around the corner for coffee….

———————————————————————

…It has been almost a fortnight since I started writing this blog. It’s just so busy at the moment and  I am finding it difficult to keep writing. However, I have managed to find a few precious minutes to finish this one now!

Today we took Jude to the childminder’s for his second ‘taster’ visit. He went for an hour last week and didn’t even notice we had left him there! We dropped him off and snuck out, he was completely fine. Today wasn’t such a smooth drop off. He slept after our morning class and woke just as we got to Ceri’s. He was smiley and happy as we went into the house, but soon got a little miserable when he was ‘handed over’. Steve stayed with him for a cuddle and I hid in the hallway as he is always worse if I’m there. He calmed down and we managed to sneak off again. (I have to admit, I know it sounds harsh, but I feel it’s the best way to do it at the moment. We have had ‘waving goodbye’ episodes too; I went to [another] funeral on Monday and Jude stayed with Steve all day and he waved me off in the morning and was good as gold). I just feel that when it’s not someone very well known and loved, sneaking is the best option. 

Aaaanyway, this time he noticed we had gone and started crawling around from room to room looking for us. I know this because Ceri told us when we picked him up. I’m really glad that she did; even though he got upset she told us anyway. I would have been quite easy to miss that bit out as he was fine when we picked him up. He had got a bit upset, but managed to calm down and when we arrived to pick him up (after an hour and a half this time(!)), he happily came to greet us at the door and took Steve by the hand to go and see what was going on inside (as he had done last week too). He’s clearly comfortable there and I am just pleased that he manages to calm himself down fairly quickly. 


So that’s pretty much it! Our little one will be going off to have his own life with Ceri, our childminder and friend, 1.5 days a week. He’s even going to be there on his birthday! (For half a day, anyway). It’s officially the next biggest step in his little life. (Speaking of steps, he’s managing about 10 in a row now, unaided – I even got his feet measured yesterday!).

All in all, Jude is fine being away from me most of the time, and it will be the best thing for him in the long run. He will enjoy being sociable, he will learn from the other older children around him. He will have new types of fun that he would never have with his mummy. And I have made the decision to relax about the whole thing. There is absolutely no point in me being stressed about it as it’ll only rub off on him. I don’t want him to be anxious being left; I want him to look forward to his time with Ceri; and when he starts nursery in September I want him to enjoy it too. 

Moving onwards and upwards. This is the second huge step in Jude’s lifelong education. This very important step in his life will be the base for his growing and learning for the rest of his life. Our little sociable boy is like a sponge; he takes in everything around him and this, for sure, will be the making of him.