*** The first ‘late’ blog post…! Started writing this yesterday as I usually do, but due to having an extra grizzly baby and being shattered I just couldn’t face finishing the post… Need…….. to……. sleeeeeeeep………….***
I have changed.
I have changed beyond all recognition. I spend an awfully large proportion of my days changing nappies (which I’m pretty good at, even if I do say so myself). But mainly, I don’t mind being thrown up on, and boy does it happen A LOT. Today I didn’t even manage to shower until 2pm because Jude was so sad:( he seems to be in a ‘grizzly’ phase. This bothered me. I know it shouldn’t, but since his arrival I have managed to continue to be quite active. By that I mean I have gone out and about most days, even just a lap around the local park with the buggy. I have even found myself feeling guilty for being out of the house so much, but we make up for it with cuddles and cluster feeding most evenings. I’ve also managed to keep the house reasonably clean and tidy. I say reasonably; to some it would seem spotless, to others it may seem filthy. I basically mean I’ve managed to do the washing, hang out said washing to dry and stay on top of washing basket (which magically seems to fill itself up every other day). I’ve also managed to not allow the kitchen wear to go mouldy whilst waiting to be washed. I have however, managed to smash 2 plates and the ceramic cat bowl since he arrived 6 weeks ago today. That’s 3 items more than I’ve smashed in the last 3 years.
And I’m tired. Soooooooooooooo tired. I put the smashing down to this. It’s difficult to coordinate yourself when you’re so tired, hence the smashing.
Last week I spoke about managing to do things that made me feel like me (painting, lunches etc). Well, I definitely spoke too soon! There has been no time for ‘me time’ this week. Not with a baby that has suddenly decided he needs to feed constantly and wants/needs my attention 99% of the time. As I write this he is lying next to me in his Moses basket with the thankfully-highly-portable ‘arch of entertainment’ which he loves, and I am able to write…
…..spoke to soon!
Now he’s sitting propped up on my bended legs whilst I lie across my bed, knees up…… Must….. finish….. blog……!!!
But at least we don’t have tears. I say he needs my attention 99% of the time , but if I’m honest we have been very lucky; he’s happy to lie awake and entertain himself a lot of the time so that I can get things like the washing up done. I do try to have a rule that if he’s awake we should be talking to him and stimulating him, but sometimes that’s simply not possible.
These little beauties are known as nipple shields and they are an absolute godsend. They’ve pretty much saved Jude from either starving to death or being put onto formula as my poor poor nipples were so so sore. Then I remembered that these had come in the breastfeeding started kit we had bought. I went to the breastfeeding clinic last week and left feeling a little fed up. I knew that Jude’s latch was incorrect hence the terribly sore nipples, so I decided to go along to a drop in session. The ladies were lovely and helped me put him into a new position which should improve his latch and he began feeding. Then they left me to feed. And didn’t come back. Ever. So the latch initially worked but soon I was again in excruciating pain and had to remove him (uh oh). He clearly wasn’t ready to stop and screamed the place down. Still no one came over. So I attempted to put him back on in the position they recommended (sitting over my knee, facing me – he loves it) and he continued to scream. Still no help. So I ended up feeding him in the old toe-curling position until he was ready to finish and made a quick exit. P****d off doesn’t come close. Sometimes I think people get so used to the sound of babies crying they actually don’t hear it. Hence the lack of help. The room was about as big as my living room (not very). Positive thing: he was weighed and I definitely don’t need to worry about whether or not he’s getting enough milk; he’s putting on good weight!
So when I got home I dug out the nipple shields and boy, have they made a difference! Just a little plastic mould that sits over my nipple with 2 small holes so he can feed normally. Actually I think it’s improved his latch as the shields are quite a bit bigger than my nipple so he attaches differently. I have used them for a few days in a row; dousing my nips in lanolin after every feed and using the shields just to give myself a break. Yesterday we went back to feeding without them and a) he was fine going back to no shields, b) his latch seems to have improved and c) my nipples are no longer sore! Yippee! I think I’ll be using them on and off for the foreseeable, they’ve changed my breastfeeding life!
Getting around to things.
I know I keep going on about it, but Jude is growing and changing so quickly (as all babies do), I went through his clothes last week as I was tidying his room. Yes, he doesn’t even use his room yet and it was pretty messy! We had just been popping all of his gifts in to his cot so it was full of bags. Plus the clean clothes we had washed weren’t being put away; just taken into his room and left ‘easily accessible’. Not a great way to stay tidy! So, as I was saying: I went through his clothes and had to put to one side his first lot of clothes that no longer fitted… I guess 6 weeks old is a good amount of time to be growing out of the first clothes, but it was still sad. He’ll never wear them again! He’s getting on a bit now!
We also made a stamp of his feet this week. Definitely should have done it sooner but we needed 2 people to do it and time for a bath afterwards and we just hadn’t got around to doing it. So, in true hilarious style, Jude was hysterical and we put black paint (completely baby friendly of course) all over his feet and made a stamp on a canvas. Steve managed to hold him and neatly place his foot onto the canvas that I was holding.. They came out really well! We’ll do them again at about 12 weeks I think.. See how much he’s grown…
So all in all another good week. It doesn’t matter how many ups and downs there are, the week always feels overall amazingly positive. Of course it does! We have our beautiful new baby, so no matter how bad things feel, those moments are fleeting and are far outweighed by the happiness he shines on our life. Over and out.